Whiskers Cat Cafe in Kansas City is reaching out to social media to find the one in a million “unicorn” home for a grumpy, white Persian dubbed the “grinch.” The cafe’s hilariously honest post begins:
For the last 12 days we’ve been letting this grinch acclimate to life on the inside. Make no mistake, she is a prison princess.
The pretty prison princess has no desire to live with others. The cat cafe explains:
Under no circumstances does she wish to meet or live with another animal. It’s absurd that you would even ask. Don’t come at us with stories about your ancient cat loving chihuahua. She will murder you and your entire family for getting that thing near her. If you even suggest she can cohabitate with your other precious Persian she will curse you like that awesome witch from “Into the Woods”. Long story short, you will not convince us to let you try. Plan on having children? You think she wants tiny STICKY fists of fury anywhere near her magical snow cape? That’s a hard pass on living with a drunken ballerina-ninja.
Outlining the finicky feline’s particular preferences:
Be aware that she needs special comforts. She has demands and she is not afraid to say them loudly out loud. She needs those fancy eye wipes for white, long haired, short nosed cats. She needs someone who will gasp at the glory of her grinch toes. She needs brush outs, blow outs, princess level pampering, heating pads, and the orthopedic foam in her own bed. And that’s just her baseline.
Asking the public if anyone is up for the challenge of owning this so-called gifted child:
If you are up to the challenge of parenting a gifted child, an ONLY child, a child with floofy white cloud fur that bounces with every step like a unicorn mane… if you are excellent and in to worshiping this magnificent creature….
Her bail is set at 1 million dollars OBO.
And assuring everyone that they only have the little princess’s best interests in mind:
Seriously, we love her but she deserves the best life. She will yell at you, she will put on an angry and scary show for a few weeks, she will absolutely lose her mind if she isn’t the only small thing in your house. But, we think she deserves a way better life that the one she came from and we aim to find it for her.
Find Whiskers Cat Cafe on Facebook here.
Find them on Instagram here.
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